happy november!

01Nov09

November is here! Today, while walking to Dominos to get some hangover pizza, I felt happy just knowing that fact. The temperature has finally dropped, things are changing, and the world–and me along with it–is moving forward.


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oh october!

08Oct09

October is here, and with it the feeling that autumn has officially arrived! Although the weather in Korea is not as cool and crisp as what you might find in Wisconsin at this time of the year, it’s beautiful outside — bright and breezy during the day and a little bit brisk at night, with a slow but persistent cold front that’s quietly pushing us toward the winter season.

Because Korea and Wisconsin are on about the same lateral plane, they both share the fortune of having four distinct seasons, Korea’s summer being hotter and stickier and Wisconsin’s winter being colder and snowier. But never mind summer and winter. Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year, and I’m excited to be embarking on this Autumn 2009.

Even though spring is traditionally regarded as the season of renewal and fresh beginnings, I’ve always felt the most alive during the autumn months. The changing colors, the falling leaves, the blowing winds — all of it invokes in me such a strong sensation of promise and potential, the thrill of taking that next step around the bend, and the hope that what awaits you just might change your life. Happy Autumn, everyone!


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september soundtrack

16Sep09

- from A to Z -

A, Age of Consent by New Order

B, Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell

C, Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan Stevens

D, Dreams by TV on the Radio

E, Electric Feel by MGMT

F, Falling out of Trees by Barcelona

G, Go by the Apples in Stereo

H, Hummer by the Smashing Pumpkins

I, It’s All Right (The Way that You Live) by the Velvet Underground

J, Just Like a Woman by Bob Dylan

K, Krush by Stars

L, Leaves that are Green by Simon & Garfunkel

M, Modern Romance by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

N, The Needle Has Landed by Neko Case

O, One Chance by Modest Mouse

P, Peaches & Diesel by Eric Clapton

Q, Que Onda Guero by Beck

R, Rest My Chemistry by Interpol

S, Stay Loose by Belle & Sebastian

T, Tereza & Tomas by Bright Eyes

U, Use Somebody by Kings of Leon

V, Volcano by Damien Rice

W, Walking on a Dream by Empire of the Sun

X, X-Ray Eyes by Guster

Y, You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb by Spoon

Z, Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie


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weekend excursion

04Sep09

One day at home, and I’m hitting the road again. A group of us are going to Busan this weekend for some beachside bedlam. Be back on Sunday!


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my home

04Sep09

After a flash of a week at home in Wisconsin, I’m back in Suwon, Korea.

Suwon, my home away from home — or maybe my actual home, my new home, my adopted home — I’m never quite certain. These sorts of distinctions grow more and more blurred, and perhaps less and less important, by the day.

Being in Wisconsin was sublime, to be sure, taking in the familiarity of it all — the way you know your grandpa’s house by heart, the way your parent’s embrace makes you feel like a child again, the way you can pick up a conversation with an old friend as if you’ve never ended the last one, the way revisiting a place envelops you in memory so warm and fluid you don’t want to leave. But being in Wisconsin was also strange. You notice that some things are not so familiar, and you find yourself  feeling unfamiliar within and among them. You arrive home thinking the present involves you, intrinsically and permanently, but by the end you realize it’s only the past that’s got you locked in its archives, where photos and documents and records can prove you were there. Now your home has changed, and because you’ve changed in a different time and place, you’re no longer tethered together by the insides.

I enjoyed it all, even the parts that caused such contemplative confusion. The family reunion, the reconnecting with old friends, the jaunt into Madison to watch the memories of my college days unfold like a parade down State Street. But I was also satisfied to come back to Suwon, where I feel like I’m living in the present, where connections are current and feelings are experienced, not just remembered.


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forward!

27Aug09

After a very long series of bus rides and flights, layovers and transfers, I’m back in Wisconsin and feeling exhilirated (and exhausted)! I’ll be here until next Wednesday, and then it’s back to Suwon. But I’m not thinking about that. Right now I’m only focusing on this next week and how excited I am to be catching up with family and old friends.

I planned a last-minute trip home to surprise my mom, who, let me tell you, was a little too surprised for my (and any physician’s) liking. Her face turned white as I walked through the door, all expression and movement draining from her body. And when she remained frozen as I approached her to give her a hug, I really thought that I might have killed her. Eventually, though, she did regain consciousness, beginning to cry and saying over and over again, “I can’t believe it’s you!”

And in some ways, I can’t believe it either. It’s amazing how strange it can feel to return home after a year away. Everything feels the same, but it’s not. Everyone seems the same, but they’re not. And it’s difficult to remember that time continues to pass, changing people’s lives, even when you’re not there to witness it.

But I’m not as adverse to change as I once was, not as put off by the word or apprehensive about its meaning. Change is possibility and excitement, and I’m excited to see all the changes that have taken place since my departure. I’m excited to see my dad and my relatives, and learn about what’s new in their lives. I’m excited to see Madison and my college friends, and hear about their developing plans for the future. I’m just plain excited.


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one-year anniversary

25Aug09

Saturday marked my one-year anniversary of arriving in Korea. I spent the day in Seoul with Ryan, strolling around near City Hall and thinking about how much my life has changed since this day last year, when I was first getting off the plane from Chicago, fresh to Korea and wide-eyed and bewildered.

As everyone seems to say about most meaningful experiences in life, the year-long journey has been both lightening fast and sluggishly slow. I view some days through the eyes of an infant, astonished by all the wonder and beauty this country holds within, feeling privileged when they’re revealed to me bit by bit like the unfolding of a secret. And other days I wake up wondering if I haven’t been living in Korea for an eternity, feeling jaded by the country’s inefficiencies and uninspired by this lifestyle’s inherent disconnectedness. But mostly I face each day utterly excited by its possibilities, each and every one of which seem so especially unique to me. And that’s why, despite the rollercoastering emotions, I love my life here.

I love the fact that I can traverse the country, from top to bottom, in seven hours, witnessing agrarian charms a half-day’s trip from the neon lights of Seoul. I love the bizarrely harmonius melding of ancient and modern, yesterday’s old fortresses and palaces backdropping today’s industrial booms. I love that I’ve forged the unlikeliest of relationships, with people from all over the world, who might know where they’ve come from but perhaps not where they’ll end up. I love the humor, the grace and the diligence of the natives, who sometimes don’t understand how someone like me could be an American but try so ardently to welcome me into their culture. I love the ease of travel this country offers, allowing me to step on a plane to China one month and a plane to Taiwan the next. And, finally, I love that I’ve been able to find love, embodied in a person I can share these experiences with, a person I can remember Korea by.

And though I feel as confused as ever about where life will lead me, about what I’ll do and who I’ll be with, I’m certain I’m not ready to leave just yet. Korea is where I belong, at least for now.


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kids say the funniest things

21Aug09

My middle-schoolers are continually surprising me with the humorous, awkward, witty and touching things they say. Here is a sampling of some of the best comments I’ve heard over the past year at Maehyang:

Ann, you look like Indian (Native American) today! (only because I was wearing my hair in a braid)

Ann, you look like ghetto today! (only because I was wearing oversized silver earrings)

My mom hit me this morning. So I wrote her letter. I told her I will surprise her and run away tonight. Do you think she will be surprised?

The Chinese Character teacher loves you. He wants to marry you. If he asks you, please, please say no!

Oh! Hugh Jackman! So cute! He visited Korea before. He must love Korea.

You and green are a good couple!

I saw Shinee at concert. Do you know Onew? He is main singer. Well, I tried to meet his eyes, because I think if he sees me he’ll fall in love.

Mrs. Park is snail. The textbook page, we spent the whole class studying it. We hate snails!

Your boyfriend, so handsome, because he has pointy nose and hairy arms.

Korea’s education mania leaves me crazy. I’m always so tired.

When we graduate from middle school, will you come with us to high school?

My favorite thing in life is Coca Cola. I love it more than anything!

I want to marry you. My heart is for you!

When I grow up, I’ll have much money. I’ll get married and have two kids. I’ll be happy and I’ll die when I’m 90. Not 89, not 91, only 90.


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summer camp blues

19Aug09

After a relaxing and rather unproductive three-week holiday from work, it was back to the books for me last Monday. Even though Korean students are on break from school until late August, most kids are forced to continue to go to school for a sort of self-study session or attend a summer English camp. And most kids are, of course, not exactly thrilled to be doing this. This is where I come in. It is my job to direct the summer camp for elementary-school students (though I usually teach middle schoolers), motivating kids who would rather be at home, teaching kids who don’t want to learn and making the English language fun for kids who think that sounds downright ludacris. And let me tell you: it’s hard.

Every day I direct 80 eleven and twelve-year-olds on my own, without the help of a Korean-speaking co-teacher. And, naturally, every day those 80 eleven and twelve-year-olds refuse to listen, play on their cell phones and eventually regress to running around the classroom while shrieking unidentifiable Korean words.

I, in the meantime, am trying to explain the concept of prepositions, using a gimpy hand to scribble ultimately illegible words on the board, or trying to organize a group activity that I know would be fun if I could just get past the instructions, or trying to type something to display on the big screen but mostly just looking like I’ve never used a computer before. In all of these endeavors, the operative word is trying. Because that’s all I feel I’m ever doing. Very rare is it that I witness any sort of success, on my part or theirs. Teaching uncooperative elementary schoolers is frustrating. Teaching uncooperative elementary schoolers with a broken hand is beyond frustrating. And if I weren’t so exhausted, I’d be infuriated.

Yesterday, as I struggled to keep control of my students, urging them to stop screaming and refrain from hitting each other, I nearly lost it. The relentless shouting, the high-pitched whining, the neverending chorus of calls for help. The need to say every little thing they were thinking the exact moment it popped into their heads without any regard for what was happening around them. I couldn’t take it.

“Teacher! Help me!” they cried when I was in the middle of helping someone else. “Teacher! Finished!” they yelled, asking for me to check their work, when I was desperately trying to help another student to also finish. “Teacher! I need sissors!” they complained when I had already explained to them that they would have to share. But these kids couldn’t wait, if even for just a moment, and couldn’t share, if even with just one other student. And if I didn’t come running to their aid, they would just repeat the same words again and again. “Help me!” “Finished!” “I need sissors!” ”Help me!” “Finished!” “I need sissors!” I wanted to walk out of class.

But I realized there wasn’t much to be done. It was the way it was, because no matter how you calculate it, an equation that involves 80 kids with short attention spans and even smaller capacities for hard work, sharing and patience, plus a single teacher with only two arms and two legs, will inevitably result in impossibly difficult teaching conditions. So I took deep breaths, I smiled and I carried on. And I repeated this process all the way to the end of class.

Today I feel refreshed and ready to tackle another day of teaching, even if only because I know it’s the last day of camp. Thank goodness for that.


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remnants of taiwan

04Aug09

  • 1 new stamp in my passport, proclaiming my admittance to the R.O.C.
  • 1 broken hand, fractured at the fifth metacarpal, from taking a tumble at the Taroko Gorge
  • 319 photos and 11 videos of my island journeys through Taipei, Kaohsiung, Kenting, Hualien and Taroko
  • a dozen unflattering tan lines from the harsh subtropical sun
  • 1 NTD$100 banknote and various loose change to be added to my box of foreign currencies
  • countless memories worth keeping for always

    • As you may or may not have known, I just recently took a short trip to Taiwan, departing last Tuesday and arriving back to Korea on Sunday. And despite the frustrations of breaking my hand (and my writing hand, at that!), I couldn’t be happier with how the trip turned out. I found it all — the bustling night markets of Taipei, the peaceful contrast between the lulling tides and crashing waves of Kenting, the beauty and awe of the looming cliffs and falling waters of Taroko — to be so incredibly, so naturally perfect. And though it was a mere five days I spent in Taiwan, I felt at home there, like I’ve come to Korea for a holiday only to return to Taiwan in a week’s time. If only it were so. I cannot wait to one day go back!


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